He was a beautiful man. I read a piece written just a few months ago that called him "almost unnecessarily handsome." There was no question that he was sexy. Whether he was wearing platform shoes or flared sleeves or skin tight pants. When he whispered in that deep voice or sang in that falsetto, EVERYBODY, gender and sexuality aside, was mesmerized. The most hypermasculine men loved him. And of course, women loved him. Even women who preferred hypermasculine men loved him.
Hypermasculinity describes the exaggeration of male stereotypical behavior, such as an emphasis on physical strength, aggression, and sexuality.
Ok...so that last part...and Prince...ok yeah...
Anyway, hypermasculinity permeates every aspect of American culture, and is a problem worldwide. But as with every societal ill, it affects the oppressed and impoverished in more harsh, dangerous, and damaging ways. Black people had hypermasculinity forced on us. It's now been with us for a long time. It arrived with us on this continent. But it didn't necessarily come from our ancestors. It came from white supremacy. It was ingrained through slavery, through poverty, through the street, gang, and drug cultures [that were a result of oppression, segregation, and poverty]. It was a result of always needing to be the biggest, the strongest, a result of stereotypes as old as this nation, a result of the fear and conditioning of white people. And it forced us into thinking that toughness and hardness = manliness. That anything else was gay and that, of course, gay was bad.
There were other pop stars who refused to be defined by gender and racial norms or stereotypes and who broke barriers. But nobody was like Prince. And he did it as a straight man. He was admired by men and desired by women [and vice versa of course].
Not only did he always have a woman - but he always had a baaaaddd [read: good] woman. He always had a fly girl. Multiple women claim him as their one true love. He was somehow still a stereotypical man's man. Yet his style, his music, his persona, even his words challenged society's ideas about what that meant.
We know that. We see that. We feel that. Yet simultaneously we forget that. We ignore that. We refuse that.
Prince made space for black boys and men to challenge the confining roles placed upon them by society -- particularly the negative ones. And not just LGBTQ black boys and men. What Prince did was just as, if not more important, for men who like him, are heterosexual.
He showed and taught so many something we need to remember. There's not one way to be a man. Even a straight man. There's not one way to be sexy. Men can be creative, wild, even flamboyant. Men can be sensitive, thoughtful, and introspective. Men can be artsy, loving, and happy. Men - especially BLACK boys and men - can be FREE. And black girls and women can respect those men, love those men, and at an appropriate age desire those men. Prince taught us that. And that lesson was - and IS - as important as every bit of the amazing music he left us.
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| Prince with his protege - who for a time was also his girlfriend - Vanity (AKA Denise Matthews). |
May we acknowledge that.
May we teach our sons and our daughters.
May we never forget.
Thank you to The Artist who was also The Teacher.
We will never forget you Prince. Rest in Power.
