Bill Cosby isn't the [only] problem! Here's the CRAZY that's making your arguments about Bill Cosby sound foolish!

I have tried so hard to stay away from this Bill Cosby stuff. But the ignorance I see today in the wake of the charges filed against him...it's too much. So here goes...

I get all the chatter. For those that are Bill Cosby fans (especially black fans), who have an emotional connection to his work and his legacy, it's HARD to see him like this. Personally, his many years of respectability politics soured me on him a bit as a person. BUT, I was still fiercely defensive of his contributions and legacy (if you know me, you know how I feel about A Different World) and I was hoping against all hope that we would find out that he was at most an adulterer that dabbled in recreational drugs--I mean, most of the celebrities we love fit that description, after all, so we could handle that--and that it would all go away. Unfortunately-for all involved personally and those of us watching from afar-it didn't end there.

I said on Facebook a while ago, 

"My view on the Bill Cosby situation: It's sad that people are so quick to believe these women's accusations with no real evidence. It's sad that people are so quick to dismiss these women's accusations with no real investigation."

This was my only commentary on the situation (outside of sharing the article written by Beverly Johnson), and I was referring to the public's knowledge when this first blew up, not to what had been presented in a courtroom. And for the most part, I still feel that way.

I go HARD for black people. HAARRDDD! EVERY DAY. Anybody who knows me knows that. And I have no problem with people who want due process for Bill Cosby or who are suspicious of the system. We all are suspicious of the system if we have sense.

BUT, I have a HUGE problem with the arguments I'm seeing-especially from black men-about why he shouldn't be charged. That's not arguing that he should have due process. That's arguing that there should be no process.

There's also a large number of white people-mostly conservatives-defending him. Their logic is ridiculous as well. Most centering around really nasty, sexist comments. and arguments about political correctness. (Basically what they say about everything.) And if you're agreeing with them that should automatically make you question your judgment.

So here's a quick run down of all the CRAZY that's making your arguments about Bill Cosby sound foolish:

--Yes, there is history here. The justice system isn't fair when it comes to black men. But it ain't fair when it comes to black women either. Do y'all understand that black women are very likely to be the victims of an unreported rape? Did you know that approximately 1 in 5 Black women in the U.S. experience rape at some point in their lives? When you make misogynistic comments about rape and rape victims, WE LOSE. Because those attitudes go far beyond Bill Cosby.

Black men lose too. Hyper-masculinity is stealing our boys' innocence AND their lives. Whether it's losing lives to gang violence or stereotypes and fear causing police to shoot unarmed men down in the streets. And think about all the black boys who are victims of sexual predators, who hide their abuse for years or don't speak up at all because they are afraid of being labeled as gay. Y'all, NOBODY wins when we protect predators, except predators. You're not protecting black people by protecting black predators-whether it's Bill Cosby or your Uncle Bill.

But then again...how can we expect some of y'all to question Bill Cosby when Uncle Bill was sitting at Christmas dinner? ..........

DEAL WITH IT.

--Yes, Woody Allen should be in jail. So should R. Kelly (though if you're wholeheartedly defending Bill, you might be defending Robert too). So should the cops that killed Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, John Crawford, and many others. So should half the folks in politics and on wall street. So should your cousin that ain't up to no good. That doesn't mean Bill Cosby shouldn't.

--Charlie Sheen is irrelevant. Period.

--This ain't a distraction. And when you keep arguing that about everything, you're saying we're not intelligent enough to deal with more than one issue, which simply isn't true. It might be for you. But I ain't distracted. I've been posting and reading about Tamir and many other things all day. Why can't you multitask? You don't have a problem keeping up with all the housewives and sports wives and everything that's happening in ShondaLand and on Empire at the same damn time. You can handle two conversations about real life matters.

--Don't assume that because a lot of time has passed that these women are lying. And don't assume that the time lapse means they never spoke up. Some rape victims are dissuaded from pursuing their case, some pursued cases that were dropped, some may have been afraid to speak up. We all know that rape victims are abused all over again in the court system. Don't be a part of that. 

We were just celebrating the conviction of Daniel Hotlzclaw. Do you know why those women didn't come forward sooner-they didn't think anyone would believe them. There was an imbalance of POWER. That's important y'all. And once one went public, others felt more confident and safe. How can we champion women in one case and be so quick to disparage them in another? And remember, there were a LOT of people who championed Holtzclaw, and a lot of people who DIDN'T believe those women. Some of you are treating Cosby's accusers the same way.

--Bill Cosby did not start preaching respectability because his son was killed. He started preaching respectability because that's what [many] people of his generation do. That's what they were taught. That's what they felt was necessary. And you know what-when you come from a generation in which the perception of your behavior could easily turn into a life or death situation, preaching about behavior comes partially from an attempt at self preservation. It also comes from a lack of understanding of systemic racism and oppression. But it didn't come from a hit on his son to keep him from standing up for us. He believed the stuff he said. And he's not the only one. And there are plenty of people that preach respectability and still believe they are fighting for us. Stop believing every meme you read. 

--Understand that Bill Cosby is not Cliff Huxtable. Bill Cosby wasn't the lovable TV dad we all wished lived in our homes. That's not him. GET THAT. These women aren't the only people who made accusations about his arrogance. That doesn't make him guilty. But folks, we have to see him outside of his most famous TV persona. 

--Nothing erases the good he's done. His work is brilliant. His contributions to American culture-especially black culture-is invaluable. They can take his name off of endowments or cut ties at universities or take honorary degrees or whatever. Millions have benefited from his work and contributions-both on television and in the real world. Thousands, maybe millions of black students have gone to college because of his work and financial contributions. He is a comedy legend. His television shows changed lives. That doesn't mean he is innocent. He is Bill y'all. Not Cliff. 

We have celebrated the art of Nazi sympathizers and racists and other horrible people. IF he is guilty, we can recognize his greatness and entertain the idea that there is another part of him that is horrible. Because he's human. And humans are complex. 

But these ignorant comments completely absolving him and condemning these women-so many women-has to STOP. We have too much to lose.

Some of y'all need to understand how patriarchy is intertwined with white supremacy. It's nothing to perpetrate or celebrate. I truly hope Bill gets due process. Even though I don't trust the process. But I can't just sit here and say he shouldn't have to deal with this. And you shouldn't either. It's HARD to watch. I would get no pleasure from watching him die in jail. But for those of you who are angry and blaming these women and spouting conspiracy theories...what if he did do it? To even ONE person? What if he did? Does time mean that goes away? Does a settlement mean they just wanted money (or does it mean he paid for silence)? Are you so blinded by the fantasy of what happened in that Brooklyn Heights brownstone that real world pain doesn't matter?

Listen, I'm not saying you have to hate Bill Cosby or even that you HAVE to believe all the accusations against him. This is an image that nobody who loved Heathcliff Huxtable EVER wanted to see! But again, the man in this picture is Bill. Not Cliff.

And to be honest, I grieve for all that I loved about Bill AND Cliff. Looking at this picture brings heaviness to my heart. I stared at it for about 10 seconds and it brought tears to my eyes. And I don't even know this man. I'd be lying if I said that his legacy and his current physical frailness don't make this difficult. But this foolishness that's floating around has to stop. And we have to stop these conversation that deter victims from coming forward, particularly when they have to battle an abuser who has power. These women are old enough to be mothers and grandmothers. Many have not accepted money and are not asking for any. We at least owe it to them-to OURSELVES-to consider their stories.

Whether it's Bill Cosby, or R. Kelly, or somebody you know--if there are predators among us, we can't protect them. No matter how much we love or admire them. 

I love my people, but - about this misogyny ish...

Black people I love y'all. I mean I LOVE y'all. I LOVE US. Unashamedly and without apology. I LOVE MY PEOPLE. So much so that the weight of that love almost feels physical. I have so much love for those who came before us, and those who live now, who fight, strive, create, contribute, shape, and conquer, in spite of very deliberate oppression.

BUT...

We HAVE to do better when it comes to dealing with patriarchy, misogyny and sexism--and all the hypocrisy, abuse and respectability that comes with these things--in our community.

Here are some VERY basic definitions:

Patriarchy: a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it

Misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women

Sexism: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex

We have to identify these things, call them out, and squash them. Black women are entirely too vulnerable and we need the protection of our community-men and women alike. We need to be afforded innocence as girls and support as women. We need to be given space to be free and grow and live and love--and even DRESS--as we see fit. We need to be cherished and understood and respected and LOVED.

We are the BACKBONE of our people. We take up the slack that black men leave behind whether due to being incarcerated, disenfranchised, or killed due to systemic racism and white supremacy or simply due to selfishness, disrespect and immaturity. Whatever the case, we are always here. And we are THRIVING. We are pursuing degrees at a higher rate than ANY other group. But we're women, so of course we're not getting fair promotion or equal pay. Still, in spite of the individual and intertwined challenges we face as both black people and women, WE ARE HERE.

The way we as a people allow misogyny, patriarchy, and sexism to run rampant in our communities is akin to us hating our blackness and not seeing our worth as people. And giving in to those things to police our clothes, activities, friends, and our lives in general is not ok. When you unfairly criticize or disregard us because we don't fit a certain mold or type, you leave us vulnerable and open to a society that already stereotypes us and judges us harshly. (Not to mention, it's extremely hypocritical.) 

We don't have to be perfect people to deserve recognition and respect. We don't have to be perfect people to deserve to be seen outside of generalizations and stereotypes. We don't have to be perfect people to be allowed to make choices and live freely, and be respected even if those choices don't match up to some societal idea of what is good or right or classy or ladylike. We don't have to be perfect people to be worthy of treatment as human beings and respect as women. We have been taught to hate black women just as we have been taught to hate ourselves as black people. But we are not making progress in dealing with the former as we are making in dealing with the latter. And that has to CHANGE.

Challenge yourself black man, challenge yourself black women, to do better for and be better to US. We are all striving to be better as individuals. To grow and learn and build. But even NOW, in the absence of perfection, we deserve respect and protection. And black men-you are a huge part of that. Daddies and uncles and grandfathers and brothers and cousins--how girls and women see themselves in this male dominated society starts with YOU. Whether we view ourselves beyond the way our bodies are received is greatly influenced by whether YOU do. Whether we think we are strong, smart, and worthy is largely influenced by whether YOU do. DO BETTER. We deserve that.

It's a coffee cup...not the cup of salvation. (Starbucks doesn't hate Christmas.)

I don't know if it's the Christian coffee houses and coffee hours or the churches with Starbucks inside, but for some reason, [some] Christians are feeling some kind of way about Starbucks having plain red cups for the holidays. The way folks are acting, you'd think Starbucks was handing out solo cups with communion wine. Y'all do know that when Jesus said, "Ye shall drink indeed of my cup," he wasn't talking about lattes right?

People are actually upset because these cups don't have dogs sledding or snowmen or snowflakes. Cause apparently those things represent Jesus. (And ain't nobody told me NOTHIN'! Me, black Santa, and black Jesus could have been rocking out a long time ago!)

By the way...that's a real figurine... that you can get here. You're welcome.

Ok...so back to the UN-Christlike cups...

One woman said the absence of these designs "denies the hope of Jesus." Not the absence of love or compassion or common sense. The absence of snowmen denies the hope of Jesus. Think on these things...

No really...sit right here, in this RED chair, and think on these things...

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Y'all know Jesus wasn't born in the snow right?

Yes, this is real. We have two weeks before we reach THANKSGIVING and we're already arguing about Christmas. Christmas cups. Christmas cups that NEVER had "Christian" designs on them to begin with. (Aren't the holidays wonderful?)

And this is being pushed by the same people who in a couple weeks will complain about generic winter displays (like dogs sledding and snowmen and snowflakes), try to start boycotts of Black Friday, and say that Christmas is too commercialized.

...and forget that our traditions have pagan roots anyway... **sips hot chocolate**

THOSE people are mad that their FIVE DOLLAR COFFEES aren't LESS simple... Should I bring the couch down here...

...

And simple was purposely what Starbucks was going for too. They said it was an attempt to embrace the "simplicity and quietness of the holiday season." You know... to remind us of what the season is about. Which if you're a Christian would mean...

(Not a Starbucks product)

You can buy that too. ↑↑↑ And mugs. And anything else you want with JESUS on it. 

But those Christians said, "damn that. Give us our snowmen and snowflakes. THAT'S what the season is about."

And you know why? Because this idea of Christian persecution is NECESSARY to keep the fear instilled in Conservative Christians. And the non-existent "war on Christmas" is a wonderful holiday tradition to keep that fear going. Can't let those warm, fuzzy, feelings that kick up when the weather gets chilly and the fires start to burn and the lights start twinkling make us think we should have peace on earth and goodwill to men. No no no...can't have that. We have to keep a battle going. Because it's a WAR!

And I must say that this does not represent all Christians. Hopefully not even the majority. Because if you can't tell, I think it's all quite ridiculous. And I'm sure Starbucks does too. I mean, it's not like they intended, or could have even anticipated, this kind of ridiculousness. But...do these people even know what company they're dealing with. Why would they be shocked at inclusive holiday imagery? This ain't Chick-Fil-A.

I feel like I should reiterate the fact that Starbucks didn't remove Christian images from their cups; they were never there. I mean, it seems like common sense. But if common sense was common, Christmas coffee cups wouldn't be making national headlines. DISPOSABLE cups at that. You don't even keep them.

Anyway...

Here's the real tea on the coffee...

The end.



If you were wondering...yes...I typed this whole blog in red just to be petty symbolic.

Happy Holidays! (That includes Christmas.)

B

Why is Ferguson about race?

When I started this blog I worried that I wouldn't be able to update it often because of my schedule. I wanted to talk about MANY things (hence the blog name), but as I thought, LIFE got in the way of regularly updating and promoting.

When writing a blog post, I like to put a little more thought and organization into it than I put into the often interesting and long Facebook discussions that I have with friends, in which I just pour out my thoughts as they come. But somebody asked me today to help them understand how things would be any different if different races were involved [in the altercation between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson]. I'll be honest...I thought the statement was a bit disingenuous, and it frustrated and even angered me. But I wanted to respond honestly and calmly, because I want people to be open to discussion. I want people to be open to asking questions that come from a genuine place. And I didn't want my assumptions about intent or my frustration to hinder that. So...I just want to share my response.

DISCLAIMER...The wording is conversational, because it's from a Facebook conversation, not how I would write a blog or an article. I didn't include statistics, references, articles, etc. My thoughts might be a bit jumbled, not concise, and certainly some important things were left out. But I think this is INFORMATIVE and IMPORTANT enough to share even in that state. So I'm about to information dump on y'all the way Bob McCulloch did on that grand jury. And if you haven't already seen it, check out my previous post Black Boys Don't Scare Me.

Why is this about race? Well I hope you read the [previous] blog post. But beyond that. Black people are killed in encounters with police more than any other race in this country, and at a MUCH higher rate. Stereotypes, prejudice, fear, ignorance lead to these incidents, as well as a general disregard for black life. Policies like stop and frisk make it worse. Police militarization is certainly an issue, but it goes beyond that. Police in our country are not well trained, increasingly violent, and increasingly fearful. Being a police officer has always been a blue collar job...it doesn't require extensive education beyond general policing tactics. It's local so it doesn't require getting out of your comfort zone. And often, officers these days don't live in, understand, or even LIKE the communities they police. Many of them believe racist and prejudiced stereotypes and they are inclined to act based on their ignorance and fear. The most basic encounters with police end up being deadly for too many African American men. This is justified with the argument that they are engaging in criminal activity. But there are many problems with that argument. First, it's OFTEN not true. Many times you will see black people have encounters with police that end with ONE charge-resisting arrest. Now...if there is no other charge, then what were these people being arrested for in the first place? Secondly, it is a police officer's JOB to deal with criminals and/or bad behavior. That's the whole point of police. And thirdly, petty crimes, or even serious ones, don't justify murder. Police officers are often judge, jury, and executioner and it's not ok. The smallest offense or even the FEAR of offense is used as an excuse to kill black men. And that's a huge problem. These aren't just opinions. This is backed up by research and by numbers.

Now...one of the underlying issues here is how black men/boys are viewed by society (and thus by police officers). The way black boys are described, the way they are targeted, the way they are viewed is very different from their white counterparts. Black boys (kids and teens) are not seen as boys. 12 year old Tamir Rice, a small boy with a baby face, was repeatedly described as a young man. They are not seen as innocent, they are not seen as kids, they are not seen as juvenile unless it's in combination with the word delinquent. A friend of mine who is biracial and has a white boyfriend often talks about how different people would respond to him if he were black. He's over 6 feet tall and built like a line backer. White boys/men who look like this are called teddy bears, corn fed, meat and potatoes men. etc. It is seen as endearing and even cute. Especially in southern areas. People look at them and see big guys, football players, gentle giants, etc. Black boys who are built that way (and even those that arent: see Trayvon Martin, see Jordan Davis, see 12 year old Tamir Rice) are seen as menacing, dangerous, threatening. WE-black people-KNOW that's not most often the case. But the majority-white people-often see them that way. This was very evident in the Micheal Brown case. A major problem is that Officer Wilson was not forced to make a statement immediately. He was able to wait until his lawyers had information about all witness statements and evidence presented, to make a statement that "fit the evidence" that police had months to skew in his favor. But what's more, and worse, is the way he described Brown (who had been described by family and friends as a gentle giant). He likened him to the Incredible Hulk. He was allowed to frame his grand jury testimony just as he wanted to. (Another problem: the prosecutor didn't present this case, the defense did.) And he talked about Micheal Brown as if Michael was some superhuman creature, which is OFTEN the case when the media and white witnesses talk about black men. Mind you, Darren Wilson is NOT a small man. And he also had a baton and a taser to use if he really thought he was in harms way. If indeed Micheal Brown "lunged" at him, which goes against witness statements, because his hands according to all witnesses were visible and he was clearly unarmed, the use of force was gross at best, completely irresponsible and murderous at worse. This kind of language-making black men out to be threatening and menacing-is ALWAYS used to blame black men and boys for their own murders. Even when there is proof that they were unarmed and not engaging in criminal activity. Remember, when Darren Wilson first approached Micheal Brown, he had NO knowledge of the incident that happened at the store. And also remember that the store owner's account of what happened was different than the initial police/media accounts. And remember the justice department chastised the Ferguson police department for even releasing that information.

Black people are also not given the same freedoms as white people. John Crawford was standing in Walmart, in Ohio-an OPEN CARRY STATE-talking on the phone, looking at a toy gun that was SOLD AT THE STORE. He was ambushed by police and killed with no warning. There is VIDEO. Tamir Rice was playing with a toy gun in a park. Also in Ohio. A place where white people walk around with REAL guns. But see...the NRA isn't interested in gun rights for ALL people. The person who called 911 in the Tamir Rice situation said multiple times that the gun was likely fake. A friend of mine who is white called the police in her Colorado neighborhood just recently and gave a description that she described as very similar as the one given about Tamir Rice, about a group of white boys walking around with guns (at night) in her neighborhood. She was basically laughed at and told not to worry about it. The young man that shot up the Colorado Movie Theater-who had a REAL gun and used it to actually kill people-was apprehended alive. These black boys and men are being killed in cold blood for walking down the street. Trayvon Martin was walking home from the store. Jordan Davis was sitting in his car listening to music. Renisha McBride and Jonathan Ferrell were involved in car accidents and went to ask for help. Eric Garner was standing on the sidewalk. And even though he was involved in petty crime-selling loose cigarettes-it didn't justify the constant harassment from police or the chokehold that ultimately killed him. (This goes back to police understanding and getting to know their communities). Just this week...Akai Gurley. Read his story. This man was literally walking in a stairwell. NOTHING ELSE. An officer pulled the trigger because he was scared. Not of anything Akai had done. But simply scared of his surroundings. THIS is why the dangerous rhetoric on the likes of FOX News is unacceptable. Because a son, father, partner, friend is being buried simply because an officer was afraid of black people. White men react violently to police often and are usually subdued and taken in, especially when they are unarmed. Black people are OFTEN killed by police and citizens alike simply for being black. I could go on. Anyone who doesn't get it or denies it doesn't want to get it. And I can't believe that anyone who denies it values my life or that of any black person. And Hispanics face some of these issues as well. I think that's worth mentioning. Although the incidence rate and the long history is not the same.

These problems are rooted in the history of our country and the way things are framed now. Yes, black people kill each other. So do white people (at about the same rate). Yes there is crime in some minority and many poor communities. But what causes that? This idea that black people are just bad and bring this on ourselves is ignorant. And that's exactly what Rudy Giuliani pushed on the news just recently. That's even what some black people have been conditioned to believe. But people don't pay attention to the fact that there are folks working two jobs that still can barely make ends meet. People fight against a living wage but don't understand why people living in poverty resort to crime or why young people are attracted to crime. Cities/counties go out of their way to end busing policies that keep schools integrated-racially and economically-to ensure that preferential treatment isn't given to certain students, but blame poor people and minorities for the education gap. Schools are FAILING, arts programs cut, some of these parents went to failing schools and don't even know that they should or can fight for something different, but people blame poor people and minorities for their own plight. I could go on and on--corporate tax breaks, housing discrimination, education gap, low wages, flat out prejudice and racism, appropriation of culture and ideas. All the underlying issues that lead to the stereotypes that lead to the murders of innocent people. And people are still walking around saying it's not about race. It's most CERTAINLY about race.


Want to read more and see some numbers? Check out the article Exactly How Often Do Police Shoot Unarmed Black Men? from Mother Jones.

Black Boys Don't Scare Me

I saw two black teens outside my patio door. Actually, my eight year old daughter Chloe saw them first. We were having a conversation and she stopped talking and started looking past me. I turned to look out while asking, "what do you see?" One of the boys was close enough that I believe he had a foot on the concrete patio. I turned around and when he noticed me he backed up. I think I startled him, as he didn't move immediately. But he started grinning as he backed away. They walked over to my neighbor's patio and did the same and then ran away laughing. This was in broad daylight. Not for one moment was I afraid. I think Chloe was startled, but not afraid. A smirk quickly appeared on her face as she realized what was happening.

They didn't have weapons, they didn't try to get at the door, they didn't yell or scream, nor did they move in complete silence. I had never seen them before, but I recognized their faces. They were the same faces that were mischievous, immature, and fun loving when I was in middle and high school. The same faces I saw knock on doors and run, just for fun. (The same faces I joined in doing so once. I never knocked, I remained closer to the street, too afraid I wasn't fast enough to get away. And while we were afraid that we'd get caught, we were NEVER afraid that we'd get shot.)

No, they weren't casing the neighborhood. There were still a couple days left before the start of the school year and they were out fooling around and being kids. I didn't think about finding a weapon or hiding or even calling the cops. I did throw on some shoes and go outside, but they were long gone.

I wanted to give them a warning-not to leave my family alone, but to be careful. I wanted to tell them that black boys aren't allowed to play pranks, be childish, or even be NEAR other people's property. I wanted to tell them that in America, a person's perception of fear has more value than a black boy's life. That in America, a person's right to protect their property is more important than a black boy's right to live.

Ben Sargent-Still Two Americas

"Don't Seem Scary..."

I can only hope that some other neighbor warns them before someone shoots at them. I can only hope that their parents didn't neglect to have a conversation with them that every black parent in America has to have with his or her sons. I can only hope that after making eye contact with Chloe they had enough adventure for the day and went home. Without walking in the street. Without reaching for a cell phone. Without looking at anybody for too long. Without lingering in any place for too long. And certainly without committing any petty crime. Without being human-which in America, combined with their brown skin, is what causes them to be deemed inherently threatening, and makes them at risk of being killed at any time and then blamed for their own murders.

I'm keeping an eye out for them. Hoping they'll come back around. Somebody needs to warn them about this country they live in.

I'm not afraid OF them. I'm afraid FOR them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [AND HAPPY BLOGGING] TO ME!!!

I'M HEEERRRREEE!!!!!

So this blog has been a LONG time coming. I mean a LOOONNGG time coming. I’ve been thinking about this for years—and people have been suggesting it for years—and it’s really been on my mind for the last few months. 

Recently, the biggest thing that was holding me back was finding a good name and a focus. I know, the naming part seems like a lame reason, but I'm a big picture kind of girl. [That can be a hindrance—sometimes you just need to take the first step!] My mind got wrapped around things like theme and audience. I hadn't written one post or even decided if I wanted to commit to this seriously, and I was already thinking about branding. lol Then there's all the formatting stuff! Not my forte!

But finally, one night, I sat down and I Googled blog names. I read a little advice, I Googled different types of blogs, I searched names I was thinking of, I wrote down words and combinations of words that described my interests and personality, I tried so hard to think of something clever and pretty and cool and witty. 

And I couldn’t.

So I kept going. I made use of a thesaurus and a literary technique—alliteration—and this is what I came up: Musings, Matters, Melodies. I don't know if it's clever or pretty or cool or witty. But I think it describes me perfectly. 

But EVEN THEN...I didn’t start the blog! Lol This post has been written in three or four different sittings over many months! When I told people I was thinking about it or I was trying...I really was! Well...sort of! ☺

My biggest fear was having a name that was too specific or too general. I’m still a little worried about the latter, but the more I read it the more I like it, and the more I think it really sums up what I’ll be doing here. [But no guarantees that it won’t change.]

Anyway, since I've been pouring out my thoughts to my Facebook friends for years, they've been pushing this. Recently my friend started a hashtag — #whereisthebook. All my friends started responding to everything I wrote with that hash tag. (Ol' bandwagon jumpers.) And yesterday, another friend, sent me this...

Well...I don't know about the book. But here I am, offering my first post! And it’s my birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 

With all the symbolism that birthdays bring, why not celebrate the beginning of this writing journey as well?! This is sort of a gift—to myself, and hopefully to the world. I hope that this space will foster great dialogue and education, like the atmosphere on my Facebook page. So I want to say, EVERYBODY is welcome here…BUT…

You can’t bring just anything. Leave your hate, bigotry, ignorance, foolishness, intolerance, arrogance, and general stupidity in some other space. I’m not here for that. BRING your LOVE, perspective, insight, questions, comments, and humor!

This post is long enough, and most of the people that will read it in the near future probably already know me—so I’ll introduce myself in depth in another post! I hope you guys will stay with me on this journey. I hope you will share my thoughts, and share your thoughts. I won’t always make it heavy, but I won’t shy away from serious issues either! We can change the world.