Unfortunately, this is a difficult issue. [I realize that many people will read this and immediately think that it's NOT difficult, that it's simple. And all of those people will have different beliefs. THAT'S what makes it difficult.] There are a number of people who, in trying to be understanding and open-minded, probably come off as playing both sides. And when I think about that in relation to my own struggles as a black person and as a woman, I fully understand why those in the LGBTQ community just don't want to accept that anymore.
Many people have always believed - or want to believe - that all people have a right to their beliefs. And there is an attempt to offer that at face value - you have a right to believe homosexuality is wrong - nothing more, nothing less.
The problem with attempting to hold and share that view at face value is that those beliefs are so intricately tied to hate. [And even though that might not be true for every individual, it is absolutely true for the world at large.] Homosexuality is singled out and looked at differently than other behavior that is considered sinful. AND people often hate and show disdain and even DISGUST for gay PEOPLE. As problematic as the phrase "hate the sin not the sinner" is for many reasons, the biggest issue is that it's simply not truthful. People hate the sin AND the sinner.
All that being said - even if all of that was taken at face value, out of context of the real world, and we pretended that people viewed homosexuality as any other sin and didn't feel hate and disgust for LGBTQ people, I know a lot of the LGBTQ community and their supporters still wouldn't be ok with that view. Why? Because it is still labeling who they believe they are to their core as a lifestyle, and as a lifestyle that is wrong.
Some people sincerely believe being gay is a sin, sincerely believe in hell and sincerely believe people will be "lost" for eternity. Those people who are not religious - especially those who have never been religious - can't understand that. And to a degree I understand why. It's insulting when what you feel is normal and real and right and powerful and loving and beautiful is called wrong. Beyond that, from a religious standpoint, homosexuality is one of the only things that people disagree about actually being a sin. So in a sense there's a given separation because when we talk about things like adultery or murder or lying those are things that we all generally agree are wrong. So even when people are doing those things generally they're not arguing that it's okay, they're trying to hide it. And even if they do try to justify it, society at-large does not accept it.
It becomes much more difficult when we're dealing with something that not everybody thinks is wrong. Having conversations about hate wouldn't even be necessary if
1.) We could take the "hate the sin not the sinner" claim at face value, or
2.) We could all agree about whether homosexuality is right or wrong.
Without those things being the case - and they aren't and likely never will be - I don't know where the resolution is. The reality is that even if we are able to accomplish number one, a lot of the LGBTQ community wouldn't accept that. A lot of people are simply refusing to accept that kindness or love exists without acceptance. And a major argument - even solution - from religious groups is that there can be kindness and love without acceptance. And that's a sincerely held belief.
People aren't having this conversation honestly. We have to consider all of these things to do that. We have to acknowledge that we are at a point where the biggest solutions from each side are in direct opposition to each other. We have to address the fact that for many people there is no happy compromise. In order to address all of this we have to be honest. And too often, people simply aren't.
